TORN: A Rockstar Romance (Wreckage Book 4) Read online

  I leaned back and smiled my blandest smile. "Congratulations, you two," I said to him and Reese. "This is going to be awesome ."

  Chapter Three

  Tallula

  G rowing up, I'd been a little mortified to be the type of girl whose house was ostentatious enough to have fucking wings . But after a semester spent in the dorms at my school, where I was subjected round the clock to loud shouts and occasional sex noises, the quiet of my room way off in the east wing was deeply satisfying .

  When my parents moved into Briscombe Hall, when Niall was a baby and before I'd been born, it had been a crumbling ruin. One of those old follies built by a Victorian shipping magnate with designs on attaining nobility. My parents were not noble however, though we certainly knew people who were. They were just, as they termed it, lucky .

  And I was lucky to have them as parents, and Niall as my brother. I was lucky in a lot of ways that counted. Lucky to have enough to eat, that's for sure .

  Way, way too much to eat .

  I regarded myself in the floor length mirror for a moment before shrugging out of the paint splattered T-shirt I had been wearing to help my mother. I was still getting used to this new body I had acquired by complete accident. My friend Poppy claimed that my newly grown curves could only help me in my bid to finally lose my virginity, but I wasn't so sure about that. And I wasn't in nearly such a rush to lose it as Poppy was on my behalf .

  I opened the suitcase I'd packed for the week and pulled out the little white bikini I had bought for a holiday this past winter, glad I'd thought to bring it. I held it out in front of me and regarded it balefully, wondering if somehow it had shrunk in the past few months it had been packed away .

  It was little .

  Tiny.

  Almost scandalously so .

  I put it up to my chest. Since being away from Briscombe, I might have gained a kilo or two. Possibly a whole stone if I was being honest. Late nights in the dormitories, sketching and studying and mindlessly snacking had turned my tall, lean figure into a tall...not-so lean one .

  "Bugger me," I muttered, out of earshot of my mother and free to swear with impunity. I quickly stripped and tied the bikini top around my back

  "Well, bloody hell." My cups...runneth over. Not in a terrible way, but definitely in a porn-y way. I pressed my lips together and grabbed the bottom and yanked it up my thighs .

  Where it stopped .

  I did a little wiggly dance and got it up another centimeter. Then the sound of popping stitches assaulted my ears .

  "Well fuck," I announced to my blazing hot room. I had no other swimsuit. I might ask my mother, but she preferred the mumsy, skirted one-pieces that could do in a pinch. But as I was a whole head taller than her, I didn't relish the idea of having a too-short one-piece jamming its way into my bumcrack .

  I pulled my bikini off and wiped the sweat from my forehead. The pool glinted beckoningly from the back garden, a sparkling turquoise jewel that I could just imagine enveloping me. I pulled on my panties and bra, and then glanced at myself in the mirror .

  I was home. This was my house. And what's more, the bra and panties covered much more than the bikini even attempted to .

  Did I dare ?

  I looked at my flushed, sweaty face in the mirror. Nearly the hottest day on record in the South of England .

  Yeah. I dared .

  I grabbed a towel from the bathroom that my room shared with one of the guest rooms, and wrapped it around my chest. Then I scooted furtively down the back stairs of the old servants' quarters before my mother could catch me and ask if I'd lost my mind .

  I went out the back entrance and through the wildly blooming rose gardens then down the path through the low labyrinth. Across the lawn, towards the front of the house, the newly arrived workers were beginning to erect the tents for the wedding that from this distance looked like giant white gulls rising over an ocean of emerald green. A couple of wood-ducks winged through the air and disappeared into the thatch of woodland that hid the small pond that huddled near the edge of our property. The sun blazed in the too-blue sky .

  In one swift movement, I let the towel fall and jumped straight into the pool .

  The cool water was a shock to my overheated body but I quickly acclimated to it. I dolphin kicked back up to the surface and flung my hair back out of my eyes, rubbing them against the glare. A hot breeze kissed my face and I smiled .

  Last year I'd gone with Niall to California. This was almost as good, better for having the advantage of home .

  I flipped up and floated on my back, gazing up at the strangely cloudless sky. No matter how much I'd professed to love the bustle of London, after a semester spent in that gray, teeming city, I was always relieved to come back to the gentle rolling hills of Briscombe. Our house was situated on a small, gentle rise and from the upper stories you could see nearly to the village that shared the same name as our house. I let my gaze trace up the softly crumbling stone, up and up ...

  To a shadow that suddenly blocked my view .

  "What the?" I flipped over onto my stomach and gasped, then sputtered as the water went right up my nose. I coughed then froze in shock .

  And the fact that I stopped kicking meant I sank like a stone .

  Sputtering and choking, I surfaced again. "What are you doing here?" I gaped even as I tried to avoid drowning a third time .

  Hudson Grant stepped back quickly. "Sorry!" he cried in that unplaceable accent of his. His voice boomed off the bricks, so loud the ducks took flight again .

  "Ssh!" I hissed .

  His eyes widened. Same color, I thought dully, glaring at him and then the sky. "Ah, right," he said, dropping his voice and looking around to make sure we were alone. "Yeah. Sorry Tally. Niall told me there was another door round back here that went straight up to the guest rooms." He glanced down at me and gave a sheepish grin. Then immediately averted his eyes and stared up at the sky .

  I narrowed my eyes at him, wondering why he wouldn't look at me. "You're early," I observed...and then a terrifying thought crossed my mind .

  I looked down at myself treading water .

  Soaked and submerged, my bra had gone completely translucent. The wet fabric was clinging to my breasts, leaving absolutely nothing to the imagination .

  I looked back up at him in horror. He was still there, still staring upward, averting his eyes but otherwise completely unbothered. I mean, why should he be? He was completely clothed, but I ?

  I was basically naked .

  Chapter Four

  Hudson

  I stared up at the sky. The sun burned my eyes but it was nothing like the way my whole body was burning right now .

  Never let them see you sweat, my father had told me, right before my mother packed us up in the station wagon and left him behind in Dallas. That was his final piece of advice to me, the one little shred of fatherly wisdom passed from deadbeat dad to cynical son .

  But it was good advice, and especially helpful during my bar band days, when hecklers shouting 'Freebird!' drowned out our sets and I could barely hear myself sing. I knew that retaliating - shouting back, showing that they'd gotten under my skin - would only make things worse. So I didn't let them see me sweat...ever .

  And it all paid off the night the remaining three members of a once massive rock band showed up at the bar I was playing at and picked me out to be the lead singer of their comeback attempt .

  I worked hard. Always have. But I never let anyone see that I'm struggling .

  I was fucking struggling now though .

  The way that Tallula's bra had gone translucent in the pool... Even before I'd looked away I'd seen everything. The luscious rise, the petal pink peak. She had a birthmark on top of her left breast and I instantly knew that if I pressed my lips to it, I'd feel her heart beating underneath .

  A prickle of sweat started along m
y hairline and I shifted to stop my cock from pressing painfully into my jeans .

  Tallula was swimming in her underwear and I'd seen everything .

  Her brother was going to kill me .

  Slowly, hunched over slightly to disguise the bulge in my pants, I turned and walked over to the edge of the pool where her towel sat neatly folded and waiting. I held it up in front of my face, shielding my eyes. "Here," I said. "I won't look ."

  I didn't hear any splashing of her getting out. I slowly lowered the towel and peeked over the top .

  She was still in the pool, looking slightly dazed, but when I caught her eye, she clapped her arm across her chest. "Why are you here?" she demanded .

  "Wedding," I said from behind the towel .

  "Right, arsehole, I fucking well know that ."

  "I told you. I was trying to go around the back way." To avoid seeing you, I didn't say. Because I didn't want to have to hide my hard-on when I hugged you hello. "I was looking for the loo," I finished lamely .

  I lowered the towel to see her treading water one handed while the other shielded her breasts. I could almost imagine she was wearing a normal bikini top in that position. Almost...but not quite. "The loo?" she repeated .

  "Isn't that what you call it here? I've never been to Jolly Old England before ."

  "Hudson."

  "Yes?"

  "Shut up ."

  "I'm sorry, baby. I didn't know you'd be naked ."

  "I'm not actually naked. And please don't call me baby," she said primly .

  Fucking oops .

  "Could I try again, please?" I asked, extending the towel. "Hello, Tally ."

  "Right. Okay then." She cleared her throat, suddenly all prim British manners. "Hello there ."

  I glanced very quickly over the top of the towel to see her pushing her long body up out of the pool, dripping, glistening. "Good to see you again," I heard myself say. I settled the towel around her shoulders, being careful not to brush my fingers on her skin. "Been too long," I told her, my Southern manners kicking in. "You look well ."

  She clutched the towel around her body and turned to looked at me suspiciously. I wasn't lying. She'd definitely grown up even more over the past year. Her long body had some more meat on it now, the way I always liked. But her face had gotten prettier, and her eyes were even sharper as she narrowed them at me now. "Did you really just get here ?"

  I nodded. "You knew we were coming today, right ?"

  "Right, ah." She looked down at the pool and then her own dripping body and suddenly started to laugh .

  I felt my lip quiver, and then my smile broadened as she laughed helplessly, burying her face into her hand. "I can't believe this," she finally managed in a quivering voice. "Tell me this is a nightmare." She pulled her hand down her face, dragging the skin with it so her mouth turned down in a comical frown. "This was literally the worst case scenario I imagined when I decided to come out swimming in this get-up in the first place ."

  I grinned. "It's not so bad, is it?" There was a piece of hair plastered in a slashing line across her forehead. Without thinking, I reached out to move it .

  Instantly, she shied backwards. "Hudson," she warned, glancing back at the house .

  I looked up to see a bank of windows overlooking us. "Shit," I sighed .

  "We can't ..."

  "I know ."

  "That kiss was ..."

  "Don't call it a mistake, Tallula ."

  She blinked. "Stupid, then. Can I call it stupid ?"

  I swallowed hard and let my hand fall back down to my side. "Yeah," I said. "It was kinda stupid, I suppose ."

  She nodded. "Go on in. The last thing we need is for Niall to see us walking together with me looking like this ."

  I smiled ruefully. "Smart girl ."

  "You're bloody right. And Hudson ?"

  "Yeah?"

  She shook her head. "This never happened ."

  I nodded again. "Right. Never happened. I never saw...anything ."

  But I'd seen something. I'd seen... everything. And there was no way in hell I'd ever be able to convince myself otherwise. And as I walked away from her, I absentmindedly raised my hand to wipe the sweat from my brow .

  Chapter Five

  Tallula

  "T ally!" three men shouted in unison .

  My mother looked up the stairs with a great beaming smile. "Tallula get down here!" she called. "Your brother and the lads are here !"

  I laughed as I came down the stairs and hurtled into an embrace with my brother, then into a three-way group hug with Jules and Ewan. The lads. My brother's bandmates .

  My brother Niall was the bassist for the band Wreckage and everyone was always telling me what a big deal that was. But honestly, he was still my hopeless brother, regardless of his widespread fame. And his old bandmates, well they were sort of hopeless too, if you asked me. Ewan, the broody Scottish guitarist and Jules, the sarcastic Northern drummer, they were old friends, more like an extra set of big brothers who descended on the house every six months or so to muss up my hair and tease me about my sketches than famous rock stars .

  "You're all wet," Jules grumbled as I pulled back. "Good to see you again, Tally. You look like a drowned rat ."

  "I was in the shower!" I protested, deliberately avoiding Hudson's eyes. He was hanging back like he always did, and for once I was grateful. My cheeks were still burning .

  "Jules, you're the worst!" August called across the great hall, setting down her bags .

  A giant shout went up from all four band members as they descended on their just-arrived manager. I hung back with my mom, grinning a little to see her give them all heaping amounts of shit about being behind schedule for something, her fiancé Jules in particular. Then her face snapped into sweetness. "Mrs. Penrose," she said, striding across the room in her kick-ass boots. "So wonderful of you to host us all ."

  I took a step back away from August's intimidatingly red-headed presence, but my mother just smiled, all graciousness and courtesy. "We certainly have the room," she said, letting August pump her hand up and down in that exuberant way Americans have .

  "It'll be good to have the house full again," my father said, strolling in from the library with a book in his hand. He gave Niall a proud pat on the shoulder before telling August, "and if the band sets up in the basement, it'll be just like when Niall was a teenager ."

  "I played cello in an orchestra as a teenager," Niall protested as I laughed .

  "I want to hear more about you as a teenager," Reese declared, wrapping her arms around his waist .

  "Oh! My dear, I have pictures!" my mother laughed, clapping in delight .

  "Oh, fuck me," my brother muttered, but gamely followed his bride as she ran for the piles my mother had organized .

  "I have to see this," August declared, trailing after them .

  "When does CeCe get here?" I asked Ewan .

  The guitarist looked glum. "Not until the day of the wedding," he sighed. "She's doing some kind of merger and acquisition thing with another label that I frankly don't even pretend to understand. Working sixteen hour days." He shook his head. "I keep trying to remind her that her fiancé is a bloody millionaire, but she doesn't listen ."

  "Celia would never stand for staying at home and being Mrs. Boyd ."

  "Oh, but the idea of her in an apron and pearls and nothing else, though..." he said with an evil grin .r />
  I stuck my fingers in my ears. "Lalalala, can't hear you." I wrinkled my nose. "So gross ."

  He laughed and pinched my side. "Good," he said with a grin. "Don't grow up, Tally ."

  I stuck out my tongue at him, which made him laugh all the harder. He wandered over to the knot that was forming around my mother and her mountain of pictures. With the light streaming in at a slant across the room, the seven people clustered around looked like some kind of Renaissance painting. "Nice," I muttered, and turned to run upstairs .

  "Where are you going?" Hudson asked, emerging from the background .

  "Getting my sketchbook," I told him, gesturing to the grouping. "They look interesting ."

  He glanced where I was pointing and cocked his head to one side. "I'll take your word for it. They look pretty normal to me ."

  "Go on over there," I told him. "I need to get this down ."

  He gave me an odd look, but obeyed, loping his way across the floor to the clustered group. I turned and took the stairs up two at a time .

  My latest sketchbook was smaller than I usually used, but I sort of liked the constraint of having to fit my vision in a small space. It forced me to really distill an image down to the key parts. I grabbed my favorite charcoal pencil out of the jumble in my wildly disorganized case and went back down the stairs. Settling down at the bottom step, I opened to a fresh page .

  Roughing out the huddle of people was quick work, and the angle of the shadow that slashed across them was interesting enough to keep me busy for a short moment. But when I started to add in the details - the curve of my mom's smile as she laughed about Niall's hair and how she could never get it to sit down no matter how much water she used - I slowed down and started to notice something .